Is there a way to convert USB to 1/4" cable? (usb to 1/4" adapter) **important details below**?

Question by Rob M: Is there a way to convert USB to 1/4" cable? (usb to 1/4" adapter) **important details below**?
IMPORTANT: I need to change a MALE END USB into MALE END 1/4" JACK. in other words, an adapter WITH male usb and male 1/4" on each end (respectively) is completely useless in this sitch. I can't plug male USB into male USB. So please stop suggesting that. Man created perfectly heterosexual electronics, so there is no room for hardware homosexuality. it just isnt possible...

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